For the past year and a half, after finishing graduate school, I have been working as a copywriter at a public relations firm in Long Island, NY. Being primarily a technical copywriter at my current employment, I constructed this portfolio to display advertisements I’ve recently generated myself.

Since I haven’t won any advertising awards and cannot yet boast of my illustrious rise to fame, I will dedicate the rest of this bio to more interesting things.

Below are a few of my favorite dance moves that I’d like to teach you.

The Bricklayer

1. Build an air-wall brick by brick from bottom to top
2. Dance against the newly constructed air-wall
3. After several minutes, step back and kick through that same air-wall
4. Emerge on the other side and dance over the air-wall rubble exclusively using your hips

The Lazy Susan

1. Approach the dance floor and point to the spot where you will begin
2. Ask the closest person to you if he/she “thinks this dance floor is for real?”
3. Scrape the dance floor with the heels of your shoe during sliding steps, your hands on your hips
4. After several minutes, stop the sliding and tell the same dancing person from before that “this dance floor isn’t serious at all”
5. Leave the dance floor while pointing to the same spot where you began

The Water Cycle

1. Two steps to the right
2. Clap your hands
3. Two steps to the left
4. Clap your hands
5. Take out your wallet and throw dollar bills around the room, proclaiming “this money means nothing to me.”
6. After several minutes, ask everyone to give the money back, please
7. Explain you’re leaving to attend another dance party and you’d like to do that dance again

The Slow Dance with Grandma

1. Find Grandma on the dance floor
2. Ask her if “you may have this dance”
3. Slow dance with Grandma
4. After several minutes, tell Grandma that you love her

I encourage doing these dances anywhere you can. That way, if we see each other in public, we’ll have something to talk about.

Thanks for visiting the site and take care.

-- David Henne